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LA Times
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This is not a joke: Coachella has announced that they will take their hipster festival brand to the high seas. Which means that the S.S. Coachella (real name of the boat) will set sail this December for two separate cruises featuring artists like Pulp, Hot Chip and Girl Talk. This brings up some pros and cons for taking a festival vibe like that of Coachella onto a boat in the middle of the ocean – and luckily we’ve recapped what those might be.
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Both cruises depart from Fort Lauderdale, FL. There will a three-day trip that leaves December 16 and travels to the Bahamas, while a four-day trip leaves December 19 and travels to Jamaica. The lineup also includes Yeasayer, Sleigh Bells, James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem, Grimes, Cloud Nothings, El-P, Killer Mike, the Rapture, Simian Mobile Disco, !!!, Warpaint and more.
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PROS
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-Boats are pretty fun, especially giant boats with swimming pools and free-flowing food.
-James Murphy is going to host a wine-tasting, which is basically all our dreams come true.
-These musicians have to leave their cabins at some point so your chance of coming face to face with Grimes on one of the decks seems high.
-All these bands are solidly good performers and will certainly put on a raging party.
-You are less likely to die of heatstroke on a boat with water and food included in your ticket than you are in Indio.
-Real bathrooms!
-There will apparently be “half an acre” of grass, so that will be fun for the first 20 minutes (and then gross after that).
-There’s no curfew and you don’t have to worry about your ride home at the end of the evening.
-The promoters claim that the band’s set times will “be longer.” This could also be considered a con, depending on the band.
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CONS
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-Imagine being stuck on a boat with a bunch of hipsters for three (or four) days. You can’t escape them. They are everywhere.
-It’s really really hard to smuggle drugs onto a boat (not that we would know).
-The cruise is expensive: Tickets start at $500 a person and include nine other price levels, going up to $9,000. And that’s not including your plane fare to Florida. Or your booze.
-To repeat: The alcohol is not free.
-Someone is going to fall overboard. It’s just inevitable.
-You will be on a boat, with no exit except the open sea, with people like this:
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Business Insider
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Does the S.S. Coachella sound fun or awful? Tell us in the comments.
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