Current mood:confusedim just sitting here right now wandering if im doing what im supposed to be doing? Im working my ass of day in and day out, im making enough to pay the bills and save a little bit. I want my own restaurant,but it is that what i want, or is that what i want, only because thats all i know how to do? Im trying to be a good parent and husband, but im not sure if im doing it right. I love Stephanie and Brandon more than anything and i would give them anything i could. I just know that life is hard and it will kick your ass if you let it. I wish i had it easier but i dont. There have been a lot of people i wish i could have been, but since steph and brandon came along i wouldnt trade what i have for anything. I love my family, my immediate and extendended. Im closer to my moms family than my dad's. My dads family is just really hateful and stubborn. everyone that knows me, knows im not hateful, i could be stubborn but not hateful.
Well it sucks my first post here, and Im not even home to do it. Im in new orleans, helping with the hurricanes aftermath. I am finding it hard to believe that we are trying to rebuild something that God wanted destroyed, is this the end of Mardi Gras, maybe. The worst part of being here is they dont know how long we will be here. We are living in the convention center. A place we had to clean up. We had to remove human waste and human remains, but we are living here. I guess its for a good reason. Talked to Shay twice since i've been down here, prolly sounded like an idiot though. For some reason I just cant seem to talk to her on the phone. But I miss Stephanie so much, I have never missed anyone this much. Its horrible. I can't stand it here. I have been sick for two days and they cant tell me why.
am i gonna die down here?