the man formerly known as Mormoncore Jason's Blog
-
im hungry
i used to be skinny, i miss it. -
The Ant and the Grasshopper
ORIGINAL VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.”
Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.”
Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of welfare cheaters. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he lives in (the ant’s old house), crumbles around him because he didn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
-
what do you mean, you shot yourself in the face?
hey, i am gonna start making custom shirts for people... i have been making custom shirts for friends and family for quite a while. the shirts will very in price. but the majority of them will cost around $40 - $45. i hand stitch it all myself. i will most likely be using american apparel. only the best for my customers... if you are interested and all. just let me know.
much love,
Jason Black -
DO IT BROS!!!
>1. My name:
>2. Where did we meet?:
>3. Take a stab at my middle name:
>4. How long have you known me?:
>5. How well do you know me (a lot, not so much, nothing)?:
>6. Do I smoke?:
>7. What's my favorite color?:
>8. When you first saw me what was your first impression?
>9. My age?:
>10. My birthday?:
>11. Color Hair?:
>12. Color eyes?:
>13. Have you ever had a crush on me?
>14. Have you ever been jealous of me?
>15. Whats one of my fav things to do indoors?:
>16. Do you remember the first things I said to you when we first met?
>17. What's my fav type of music?:
>18.What's one of my fav things to do outdoors?:
>19. Am I shy or outgoing?
>20.Would you say I'm funny HAHA or funny (sarcastic)?:
>21. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?:
>22. Would you consider me a friend?:
>23. Would you call me preppy, slutty, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam,
snobby, or something else?:
>24. Have you ever seen me cry?:
>25. If there were one good nickname for me, what would it be?
>26. Are my parents still together?:
>27. Do I have a nice butt?:
>28. If I had broccoli stuck on my teeth, would you tell me?
>29. Do you love me?:
>AM I.... ?!?!?!?
>31. Quiet or loud?
>31. Short or Tall:
>32.Weird or original:
>33. Smart or stupid?
>34. Boring or Fun?
>35. Attractive or Unattractive?
>DO YOU THINK I'M... (yes or no, if u wanna say something extra say it)
>36.A psycho?
>38.Athlethic?
>39. A nerd?
>40. A slut?
>41. Ghetto?
>42. A bi**h?
>43. Two-faced?
>44. Obnoxious?
>45. Immature?
>46. Mature?
>JUST A FEW MORE QUESTIONS
>47. What do you think I'll be when I grow up?
>48. A) Do you think I'll get married?
> B) If you do.Who do you think I'll marry?
>49. When is my birthday?
>50. Who is my best friend?
>51. What song(if any)reminds you of me?
>52. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?
>53. If you could rename me, what would my name be?
>54. Have you ever had a dream about me?
>55. A feature that you like about me:
>56. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
>57. Algo que me caracterice?
>OPPOSITE SEX ONLY ANSWER QUESTIONS 58,59,60,61,64,65 and 70 (don't think u
wanna answer the other ones lol)
>58. Am I physically ugly, average, decent, good-looking, beautiful, hot?
>59. Would you ever kiss me?
>60. Would you ever consider being my boyfriend/girlfriend?
>61.Do you ever think about me off-line?
>62. If we spent a day together...where would we go and what would we do?
>63. If you could describe me in one word, what would it be?
>64. Do you or have you ever had a crush on me?
>65. Do you want me?
>66. What word do I say all the time?
>67. Is there anything you'd like to say to me?