The sky man was coming round – so I put some clothes on – well I was already dressed but not in anything I wanted anyone to see me in, yes you guessed it- I had my naughty vicar outfit on again- tsk tsk what am I like? No, actually it was a shirt with inappropriate content on. This content was yoghurt. It had no place on my shirt.
I let the man in, you have to you see. Next thing I knew, I heard myself saying; “do you want a cup of tea” – because they like that and I like pleasing people. And he said "yes".
Well, I was a bit taken aback cos they usually say no, last time someone said yes, I made the coffee, it was coffee that time and they had finished the job before the coffee was drunk. And we both didn't know what to do because the job was clearly done. Time to go home what-ever-your-name-is.
But no, he couldn’t because of this sodding coffee – this stupid mug of hot liquid, seemed harmless before didn't it? Well, not now... he wanted to go – I wanted him to go – but there was half a mug of hot coffee here – steaming away taunting us. If he went and left the coffee it would draw attention to the fact that he was rushing to get away. I might think that he didn’t even want the coffee – that he just got me to make it because he was a sexist. But more likely is that I would think that he thinks we have nothing in common and we can’t even make small talk over half a mug of coffee for 2 minutes.
So he drinks a sip – a big sip and he visibly burns himself. I ask if he wants more milk. He says no. He means yes, but it's too obvious if he says yes that he’s desperate to go. Men huh?
God, it’s too painful. Not his lip, although I imagine that is a bit sore too –
but this; watching him drink his coffee and having nothing to say to each other
– it’s too painful. So I go to yawn and I strike the cup; I delicately smash it
right on to the floor. It was premeditated that’s for sure. Don’t worry it was
the mug I got free with a flake Easter egg. No biggie. I never liked it anyway.
Good riddance to the mug and the man. That saw him on his way.
So, this new chap, he said yes, he said yes to a tea. He did not get a tea
though. He got a small cup of Ribena. He looked disappointed, but I thought
Rick (that was his name. Allegedly) I thought Rick, it’s for your own
good.