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  • Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)

    Current mood:nostalgic

    It's summer 2000 I think, I've finished my A-Levels and am about to embark on the bleakest year of my life, but I don't know this yet. I've yet to get a letter from Oxford telling me that I didn't get in first time around. (a mistake that would be rectified one year later after I pretended I'd read The Divine Comedy in full). It was the summer of house parties, sunsets, Reading Festival and Candle Mambo.

    Candle Mambo is a song from the Captain Beefheart album 'Shiny Beast'. I first heard it towards the end of an after party party, das doob was being passed round and Alex Wilkins put this album on the stereo. It was almost too much to take in all at once, like hearing a whole new musical genre all at once. Snatches of songs soared, others lumbered clunkily around the room, some tromboned mixing with fits of giggles from the listeners. The music was actually funny, and more bizarrely the instrumentals were the funniest of all.

    Like a lot of my favourite albums it was a while before I bought a copy after first hearing it. I remember buying it for £5.99 in Imperial music on Park Street. I think that shop closing down was my day the music died. It had been my first stop for every artist that devoured my late teens. Zappa, Beefheart, Mercury Rev, Godspeed, Philip Glass, Jurassic 5, The Sugarhill Gang, Lou Reed and others. I put Shiny Beast on in the CD player in my car which I had weeks before learned how to drive. It was about 8 months before that CD player was nicked, during the bleak end of the year, and Shiny Beast was still in it on that day.

    The first half of the album demonstrates one strength Beefheart has over Zappa, he can make songs funny and sweet, even a little sad, at the same time. Zappa didn't do sweet, and certainly didn't do sad, but Candle Mambo shows all three in the same song. It's absurdly upbeat and all about the xylophone. The subject is the dance that the candles perform on the walls and ceilings of some room in which two people are themselves dancing. The lyrics display Beefheart the poet at his most innocent and effective:


    While your lights are spinning round,
    Your feathers of fire winning night
    And turning light, and turning light

    Candle crack, candle break
    Correct the night's mistake


    The candles are putting their glow, not only on the moment, but also the memory of the moment; the "night's mistake". Just as the many layers of time have immortalised that summer and it's nights which I can only recall flashes of. The song tastes like the mouth of a girl kissed amongst the smoke and ash of a reading Festival fire. It tastes of bubblegum, vodka and cider. It tastes of not knowing you're having the best summer of your life. Paul Simon wrote "how terribly strange to be seventeen", keep a dry eye to that and you're a stronger person than me, but if 'Old Friends/Bookends' is the reflection on that immortal past, Candle Mambo is the soundtrack, for me anyway.

    Tropical Hot Dog Night is altogether a more masculine, ballsy song. There's an awful lot of that in Beefheart, starting with 'Where There's Woman' on 'Safe as Milk'. But it's not a sneering misogyny the likes of which Zappa has, it's a masculinity only possible through the presence of divine, almost mythological women. Beefheart's secret pleasure, for me, is a primeval, almost pre-human mythology. He can be all caveman sometimes. This is as much about his percussive rhythms, forcing you back to an age of skins, bones, totem poles and skulls, as it is his lyrics:


    "I'm playing this music
    So the young girls'll come out
    To meet the monster tonight"


    And again the timelessness:

    "I don't wanna know about wrong or right
    I don't want to know I'm anywhere tonight"

    Tennyson's "Nature red in tooth and claw" finds it's maniac rebirth in Beefheart. 'You Know You're a Man' opens with an incredible riff, and the statement


    Ah you know you're a man
    Yeah, she makes you understand
    Yeah, you know you're a man
    Yeah, you know you're a girl about the same time
    About the same time I know I'm a man,


    It's something deeper than the "world of sexual incompetents, encountering
    each other, under disco circumstances" that Zappa was obsessed by. It's the Neanderthal glow that forges itself between a man and a woman, weather outside a cave thousands of years ago or outside a tent at a festival. This finds it's fulfilment in Ice Cream For Crow, which is pretty much a pile of dust, bones and feathers by the time it gets to 'The Thousand and Tenth Day of the Human Totem Pole'. I think Ted Hughes would have liked that song. Shiny Beast is only half of the title of this album though, the caveman dancing under candlelight, the parenthesized Bat Chain Puller could almost refer to the second half of the album which turns on a sixpence after the song of the same name. Its an altogether more lumbering, clunking, tribal rhythm and the songs move further away from the jauntiness of the first five songs, until we are brought almost to a standstill with the bizarre monologue 'Apes-Ma'.

    I have to say I don't regularly venture so far, Shiny Beast is the half of the album I adore. I'll save Bat Chain Puller for when I'm an elder, looking out to younger folk through the flames of a pagan fire, recounting the blissful joy of a summer long past and using Candle Mambo to raise its spirit.

  • I've put this off for far too long

    Current mood:anxious

    Me and my dear friend Robin Allender decided to set our top 50 albums in stone about 4 months ago. Robin triumphed, managing to come up with a list that both satisfied his conscience and also impressed girls... (if only girls were impressed by this sort of thing)

    I went a bit mad though and ended up in a rather demonic state of clotheslessness and there was an embarrassing incident with a marker pen and my mac's inbuilt iSight camera. The result was 30 or so pictures, an odd assortment that would not seem out of place in the intro to the film Seven. It wasn't unlike the transformation attempted by the murderer in Silence of The Lambs, only imagine him trying to change into all his favourite music. Good Times!

    Anyway, fast forward 12 weeks or so and i'm doing a particularly tedious gig, where i manage to find time to attempt a top 25. I didn't go mad this time, and here is the result. It's not very cool or at all wide ranging, the only way i could manage to do it was to think 'i'm about to leave for a long holiday, i have 25 albums i can take, choose them now'. It's a good tactic but results in a personal rather than 'all-time' greatest list.

    There are only two rules:

    No Compilations
    No OK Computer!

    Here goes

    25. Happy Songs For Happy People - Mogwai
    24. Funeral - The Arcade Fire
    23. Enlightenment - Van Morrison
    22. Desire - Bob Dylan
    21. XO - Elliott Smith
    20. Into The Music - Van Morrison
    19. Veedon Fleece - Van Morrison
    18. Ice Cream For Crow - Captain Beefheart
    17. Queen II - Queen
    16. His 'n' Hers - Pulp
    15. Safe As Milk - Captain Beefheart
    14. Ecstasy - Lou Reed
    13. Viva Last Blues - Palace Music
    12. Sheik Yerbouti - Frank Zappa
    11. The Letting Go - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
    10. Nothin' To Celebrate - Red
    9. Blood On The Tracks - Bob Dylan
    8. Roxy & Elsewhere - Frank Zappa
    7. Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller) - Captain Beefheart
    6. Ease Down The Road - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
    5. Ghosts Of The Great Highway - Sun Kil Moon
    4. The Band - The Band
    3. Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven - Godspeed You Black Emporer!
    2. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
    1. Astral Weeks - Van Morrison

    There i am. I think a lot of the repetitions are down to my way of listening to music; i tend to get very into an artist for 6 months or so and them move on. I'm a bit like the aliens from Independence Day in that sense. So 2 years ago there would have been a lot more Zappa on here, 6 years ago an awful lot more Lou Reed. At The minute Van Morrison has really stuck with me, and i'm enjoying a Beefheart renaissance. I See A Darkness missed out because as monolithic as it is as an album, the best songs are too intense to listen to and that leaves six (very good) fillers. The Letting Go is proving a much more versatile album, though it has two very poor fillers (God's Small Song and Cold & Wet). I'm still editing the list as i type, i just replaced Is This It? with Desire...despair. In fact i might have to keep editing this week by week to stop me going insane. If i'm honest i'm only happy with the top three. Oh God. I have to go and gig in front of ex-SAS and policemen in Hereford tonight and i'll be distracted by this. When will it end?

    Sometimes i think the only solution will be to marry a passionate French woman who'll kick the living shit out of me.
  • Astral Weeks

    I never thought i would be listeneing to Astral Weeks at the same time as watching Tin Cup. But when will Roy learn to control his temper on the golf course?! Every time i watch this film the same old dilemma crops up, and the same part of you that half suspects there may be a Father Christmas hopes beyond hope that Roy won't blow it on the final hole of the US Open. I have to break this to you now, Roy will never change, Roy will never learn to lay-up, and you'll always end up wishing he'd ignored the love interest and giving a more statistically satisfying end to the film by beating the course record. Maybe somewhere, maybe in a place beyond this world, Roy will lay-up to that final hole and we'll all sit with the Apostles and laugh.


    It's 3.13 am, i live in a house with three other comedians, none of them are here. When they are away i like to smoke indoors, they don't know this; it's a secret pleasure. I only do it rarely, my mum used to let me smoke inside on 'special occasions'. This would usually be when something bad had happened and she was guaranteed a candid chat, me smoking indoors was kind of a sweetener as i was a closed book for many years. Ever since i was 13 my own company was the company i sought most eagerly. When i was 16 i made the friends that i keep to this day, i then sought their company, and we devoured music like air. It was 1998, Mogwai, Godspeed and Slint somehow defined us, and we felt alive by being into them at the time they were changing things. I don't listen to any of these artists much anymore, it's too great an investment of time and concentration, but every few months i put on the 'Slow Riot For New Zero Kanada' Ep and remind myself of how far music can be taken. Because that thirty-minute, two-track CD is as far as music has gone since Astral Weeks.


    Every person holds close the music their parents listened to when they were young. My Mum was a true 1980s leftie: Fleetwood Mac, Paul Simon and Van Morrison. Hell, i can't listen to Jealous Guy anymore, it reminds me of driving for coffee with mums friends when i was six in a Citroen Diane (like a 2CV), it reminds me of the profound confusion surrounding my parents divorce, it reminds me of the innocent faith i had that my mum was right to make the choice she made, it reminds me of innocence.


    Two Van Morrisson Albums remind me of the same period; Poetic Champions Compose and Enlightenment. They are Van Morrisson at his sentimental best "Goin' down by Avalon / Sweet Avalon of the heart / Goin' down by Avalon / Gonna make a brand new start". It's schmultzy, but the backing carries it through in overblown majesty. Though there is a line in that song (Avalon of the Heart) that smacks of something deeper, something greater. It's a line that he waits to announce, with a the intensity of a bleeding heart : "Down by the viaducts of your dreams". It stands out like T.S Eliot in a Pam Ayers poem, and it stands out because it's the first line of the first song of Astral Weeks.


    Though i'd listened to Van Morrison for many years, i'd bought Astral Weeks in the same way i'd bought The White Album, because it was there on the lists; the greatest-album-of-all-time lists. Those pathetic attempts to re-arrange the same twenty albums in a more saleable order. I'm telling you now, if you think Revolver and Sergeant Pepper are the greatest albums of all time, you need to get out more. But Astral Weeks was different. It was hard to listen to. i must have owned it for three years before i put it on without a sense of dread and inadiquacy. The repetition of phrases, the hanging on to notes that many would not want to dwell upon. In short, it is to Van Morrison what Trout Mask Replica is to Beefheart: the one you're meant to think is the best but cannot bear to listen to.


    My friend Robin claims that the second track 'Beside You' is the stumbling block. If you're listening to the album for the first time you'll know what he means. it's the kind of song that most bands would only dare schedule as a closing track, once they've proved themselves and can kick back without fear of people switching off. But Astral Weeks was recorded in 1968, when seemingly you could do whatever the fuck you liked, and 'Beside You' is a kind of initiation ceremony. If you get past it on the first few listens you'll come to treasure it in the future: "You breath in you breath out / you breath in you breath out / you breath in you breath out / you breath in you breath out", you're even skipping it as you read, in the same way that your finger reaches for the skip forward button when you hear it. I did the same. But then i missed the lyric that flaws me now, that seems to come from nowhere, equalling if not bettering Dylan at his best:


    "The dynamo of your smile caressed the barefoot virgin child to wander
    Past your window with a lantern lit
    You held it in the doorway and you cast against the pointed island breeze
    Said your time was open, go well on your merry way
    Past the brazen footsteps of the silence easy"


    For me there's no feeling better than 'solving' an album. This process is essentially going from the first listen where you think to yourself "What the fuck is all the fuss about?" to the moment when you sit alone, listening to the same album, and say outload "FUCK EVERYTHING!". It may take weeks, years or maybe it will never happen. There are few people who love Beefheart more than me, but i still can't listen to Trout Mask. But the time i drove from Penzance to Plymouth on a mild summers day, listening to Astral Weeks as i passed the viaducts of Cornwall, through the country roads and "avenues of trees", i solved an album that never stayed still. I challenge anyone to listen to 'Cyprus Avenue' and not to drift off into some kind of trance as he sings. Lester Bangs said this song was about Paedophilia. That all depends on whether you think Nabokov wrote about Paedophilia or love. For me 'Cyprus Avenue' is about astonishment, revelation. It's a man sitting in a car having his whole system of belief challenged by the blinding sight of a fourteen year-old girl. That she's fourteen is only important in adding to the texture of innocence that the album has; "So young and bold / Fourteen years old". It's only in the last line that you find out how old she is, if it was a song about paedophilia you would feel ashamed, but this is a song about a moment in time that we have all experienced, maybe lasting three or four seconds, when we've seen someone who has never quite left our memory, however distant.


    I remember reading an article that claimed Astal Weeks (in direct comparison to Sergeant Pepper) should be hailed as the album that best represented the 1960s. I don't think that's true. Sergent Pepper, for me as for Zappa, represents the sixties perfectly, but it holds as true everything that was a facade. It promoted the lie that everything could be 'trippy' and 'out there'. As far as i'm concerned that notion died in 1969/70, when the great festivals turned bad, and Hells Angels policed the riots that ended the era of free love. Astral Weeks, however, remains unchanged. It's without category: not pop, nor rock, folk, country or psychodelic. It's Astral Weeks: "The love that loves the love to love the love that loved the love that loves to love the love that loves to love the love that loves". What a line! I have mis-transcribed it, but it contains fourteen 'loves'. You can't count the 'loves' in the same way you can't track the lyrics without being drawn into a daze, into the album itself. If you ever solve Astral Weeks you will know what i mean when i quote finally the line "And i will never grow so old again, and i will walk and talk in gardens all wet with rain...I shall drive my chariot down your street and cry, hey, it's me, i'm dynamite and i don't know why."


    It's nearly 5am, Tin Cup finished long ago. Roy didn't lay up to the final hole, he blew it as he always will. The film doesn't change, regardless of how you yearn for him to nail it. Astral Weeks is on it's fifth continuous play. It's still changing, still doing what i'd hoped it would the last time i listened. Still amazing and intoxicating.

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