Hooray for Prolapse

About me:

MY NAME IS TIFFANY SPUFFINGTON-MAJORS
I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH ANY OF YOUR SHIT. I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR INDECISIVE PROCRASTINATION. BITE THE BULLET, SEIZE THE DAY, OR DON'T, JUST DON'T WHINE TO ME ABOUT IT. I AM A PROFESSIONAL SIDEKICK, AVAILABLE TO HIRE FOR A CONSIDERABLE SUM. I HAVE THE SKILLS TO MAKE THE GREAT LOOK GREATER. I WILL ASTOUND ALL WITH MY SIDE PARTING AND KNOWLEDGE OF TRIANGLES AND I..WILL..KICK...YOUR..ASS..

'Ask Alex' Video Blog 1: Boy Trouble
.. ON A MORE PERSONAL NOTE I LOVE SHARP TEETH ON SOFT SKIN. HERMS MOST OF ALL AND THE BEHIND. GERKINS AND CHEESE AND FRESH BREAD AND DRIED MEAT PRODUCTS. SOFT AND HARD. THE VUNERABILITY OF FLESH. CLOWNS. FORCE. SWEETS. SECRETS. SURRENDER.

I HAVE YET TO REACH A CONCLUSION, QUESTIONS QUESTIONS. I LIKE TO EXPERIMENT WITH ME AND OTHER PEOPLE, SMILING ABOUT HOW THE WORLD IS. THE DELICIOUS BOUNDARIES BETWEEN ACHE AND ARRIVAL. PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME THINK. WET SLIPPERY LIPS AND A CONSTANT ITCH

I FEAST ON SMALL OBJECTS, DRAPE MYSELF IN PUREST SLIME AND TAKE PLEASURE IN UNEXPECTED ADVENTURES, I HATE TO PLAN, HATE IT

I ENJOY WATCHING GIRLS DO THINGS TO EACH OTHER, IT MAKES ME WARM INSIDE AND PORN, A LOT OF PORN, BUT ONLY THE AMATEUR STUFF PLEASE YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GLOSSY RUBBISH THANKS.

I LIKE TO SING, TOO LOUD AND QUITE POSSIBLY OUT OF TUNE, ABOUT PARROTS AND PEAS, WHILE SITTING UP ON A BRANCH OF A TREE IN THE SUNSHINE I WILL NEVER STOP

NEVER

IDEAL SITUATIONS INCLUDE GETTING WHAT I WANT NOT WHAT I DESERVE. HEAT WARMING MY MARROW. FLIGHT. TREE CLIMBING. SURPRISAL. EXPLORATION. LAUGHING TILL IT HURTS. STROKING. MUSIC MAKING. VAST KNOWLEDGE. HORSE PLAY. NOT DOING WHAT I'M TOLD. MAKE BELIEVE.

PROLAPSE IS

I AM FOND OF ALL THE DIFFERENT SOUNDS POSSIBLE, LIKE WHEN YOU LET SLIP A LITTLE MOAN OF DELIGHT AT THE PLEASURE OF SOMEONES TOUCH ALL ACCIDENTAL, PERHAPS WHEN YOU LISTEN PATIENTLY AS SOMEONE SLOWLY TURNS THE PAGES OF A BOOK, OR EVEN DISCOVERING SONGS ABOUT HALFJEWS AND PERFECTLY ROUNDED BREASTS WHEN YOU ARE MEANT TO BE CONCENTRATING ON SOMETHING FAR MORE IMPORTANT, I LOVE THE CLACKING CLANKING OF SHIPS MASTS AT NIGHT LOOKING UP TO THE CLEAR NIGHT SKY AND FEELING LIKE YOU COULD FALL OUT INTO THE STARS IF YOU JUST LET GO

Also I like magical hair, to be honest with you I prefer the real deal, the swirly curl of unkempt tresses and beards get me going

THESE ARE SOME THINGS I DO NOT LIKE AT ALL:

SLOW WALKY WEAVERS IN FRONT OF MY PATH, MY ABILITY TO SMELL BLOOD, OTHER NASTY SMELLS LIKE THAT TIME ON THAT ROAD TWICE, DISGUSTING FEET, INSINCERETY, SPELLING, RELIGION, MY BAD THOUGHTS, LIARS, MIXING MEATS, PEDANTS, CAPERS, THAT IS ALL FOR NOW