The village midwife is predicting the moon will rise again in the fifth month, she says near a one armed man...all sounds a bit of a stereotype to me but we'll see...
The cape is safe and the Irishman is sleeping...a watchman at the tower shouted down the other day...this all seems in order and I'm sure will make sense to some.
My cousin Ernulf is still missing (see Chapter One, Verse Four and Chapter Two, Verse Two for details), as is the milk cow on which I painted his missing person details (see Chapter One, Verse Five for details) and my prize cow Lucrecia named after the mother of my cook (see Chapter One, Verse Five for details). My cook has now lost the milk jug on which I painted these details (please see Chapter Two, Verse Two for details). I begin to suspect him of being less than the idiot I thought he was...
Also still missing, presumed on a training run, are my famous Norwegian Blue Racing Snails, with the inter-Knights snail racing cup fast approaching I am becoming very concerned. My bouncy new serving wench Marie Celeste is proving a brilliant addition to the castle. When I complained to the cook that he had lost my favourite jug (see above) he replied, "don't panic, Marie Celeste has two cracking ones". He laughed, Marie Celeste blushed. I am still confused as she was carrying a mop, not two jugs, at the time. The humour of the kitchen is one which I've never quite got to grips with.
I finally found my horse the other day. A deep joy. I feel we will be most happy together and notch up many adventures. Speaking of which despite trips to Cornwall, Yorkshire, Berkshire and Derbyshire since I last wrote, I have still not found a dragon to slay or a maiden to rescue. In one place I asked if there were any virgins to protect in the town and the inn keeper looked at me and said "Virgins? Here? You'll be lucky mate..." Not a promising start to the campaign. I ride out again tomorrow up north with high hopes that this time I will finally find the dragon of my dreams...
I have heard on good authority (well, from this serpent in my meadow that's always tempting me with the most delicious apples) that a farm boy in Suffolk is harbouring a dragon. He says that the only problem is no one other than himself has ever seen this boy because he's so grotesque he only comes out at night and talks to pigs in Latin or something (I can only imagine these pigs must have gone to Cambridge University)...Details...Let's not get fixated on them. Basically, all we have to do is get this virgin lady from the village to come and eat one of the serpent's nice apples and ugly boy says he'll release this dragon. Perfect! The really brilliant thing is, this girl is going to be easy to spot because she walks around woodlands in the nud. It’ll be as easy as taking porridge from a baby.
Let's hope this snake isn't just pulling my leg.
If her jugs are cracking you should really handle them more carefully...
Mx.