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Dara O Briain's Blog

  • Tough Gig - Or, the power of Elf ears...

    Last tuesday night ITV broadcast "Dara O Briain's Tough Gig" in which I spent a weekend with the Live Action Role Players of Skullduggery in Canterbury.

    Some insider telly stuff: The total viewing figures for the show were 902,000, which is sort of low for that time of night, even if it was up against Big Brother. It's less than half of a episode of Mock The Week and less than a quarter of the figures for when I was on Parky a couple of weeks ago. In fact, they're the kind of figures that get quoted when people talk about the decline of ITV and compare "Dara o Briain's Tough Gig" to the "Morecambe and Wise 1976 Christmas special" or something.

    In telly terms, no fucker watched it.

    But bizarrely, every fucker seems to have seen it.

    I've spent the last week talking about to people about my time in the forest, foam weaponry, drinking mead and more often than not, those bloody ears. Apparently they were a complete victory style-wise. they may have been the equivalent of Kate Moss walking through the mud in her designer wellies during the last Glastonbury.

    However i'm not sure if I'm putting the ears on the map or if the ears are doing it for me.

    If you haven't seen the show, I've put some of the gig on the page for your delectation, from a clip that i think the telly company slid out onto Youtube. The entire show might appear there soon. If it does, i'll stick a link on to it.

    Big thanks to all the LARPers then, for hosting a brilliant weekend and being so generous when they must have thought we were going to do some sort of hatchet job on them. No chance. Like I said on the film, they're my kind of nerds..

     

     

    2:38 AM
    • Post a comment...
      • Chelsea Anderson

        i watched this show & i loved it!! :)
        hard to believe those viewer figures like. it was clearly better than big brother :P

        - chelsea.

        4 years ago

        • What I don't understand is how the hell do they know how many people have watched the show?

          3 years ago
      • peter reaney

        ok! so you got ears !!!
        fuck the begrudger s
        ps: i meant to watch it but i was stoned,,,,sorry lol
        seriously happy easter to you an yours
        djpr

        4 years ago
      • Steve

        Well, I certainly liked it!

        4 years ago
      • Kate

        I never even saw an advert for it and would have watched it if I had.

        4 years ago
      • The Demon Headmaster

        Even the Headmaster watched it!

        The Headmaster has seen you live in Liverpool you know.


        The Headmaster

        4 years ago
      • Stu

        Loved it. Thank so much for not making it a hatchet-job.

        What I wouldn't give to see the full length gig, eh?

        Cheers.

        S.

        (a LARPer of 20 years).

        4 years ago
      • Patricia

        Hello Dara,
        I saw the Tough Gig and loved it - but what geeks. Mock the Week is on TV just now and it reminds me that I met you last year on a train - you sat opposite me when I was going from Newcastle to Aberdeen and then some weeks later I saw you in Malmaison in Newcastle (after you had been to a wedding? Remember? Or is that a dumb thing to ask.) Anyhow - I am again in Aberdeen and really I wondered if you have any live gigs in this area coming up? Anni L

        4 years ago
      • Stacey Jacques

        You well know EVERYBODY watched it! It was hilarious and i made my friend watch it too, who is a total nerd when it comes to W.O.W...she LOVED IT TOO!

        And. Just a message for people who are attacking Big Brother on this page: SHUT THE FOOK UP! :) Thank you for listening. :)(Y)

        4 years ago
      • Oven Glove's Creek

        Well me and my housemates watched it and thought it was brilliant! It's just a shame it wasn't long enough to fit in your entire routine at the end.

        4 years ago
      • Neville

        actually I would like to take this opportunity or Dara's failings - whatever you want to call it - to ask people to stop watching anything on ITV.

        I say this because they have really pissed me off with the F1. Last year they actually missed the final lap of the Monacco Grand Prix (I think it was) and last week they were on for an hour and a half and had 15 minutes of ads.

        Not only that but they change into Quiz Bollocks or whatever it's called at around midnight, they cancel Dara's programme because they didn't advertise it and apart from corionation street - they have nothing to offer - no new comedies (I believe they axed "the Abbey" which had my mate ras in) and the films they show are in the "Straight to video" bracket.

        Everyone, rise up and stop watching ITV 1,2,3 and 4 - you won't miss a thing.

        -**rant over

        Love you DARA

        4 years ago
      10 of 24More

  • And for the Irish...

    Amidst all the news about Mock the Week (below) a quick mention about my first love, The Panel.
    The pre-election series is in full flow, and you'll have noticed that I haven't been there. A sort-of principled decision, given that I've been living out of the country for a few years now and even my vote is registered in the UK, so I felt it might be a bit cheeky to fly in and lead a political discussion in the run-in to an election I have no investment in, and am not around to follow day-to-day or live with the consequences of.
    Terrible grammar, but i'm sure you get the point.
    A gift for the Irish in my absence then (you'd have to be Irish to get this, I think)
    On my regularly graffitied wikipedia biog, someone has recently added:

    "At college gigs, Dara is often greeted with the chant "Ooh Aah, up Dara""

    I told you only the Irish would get it. Now let's see how long it stays up...
    5:19 PM
    • Post a comment...
      • SusanKate

          Read it. Got it. Keep it.

        1 year ago
      • Réamonn An Droichead

        Ar fheabhas ar fad a chara an ghreannmhar. Ádh mór ort!

        2 years ago
      • Fuckpig O Toole

        'Bout ye and now surely dara has a fada on the first a....and Jez we expat Gaels.....are.....intolerable pricks..

        2 years ago
      • Trevor Smith

        Fucking disgrace, trust a fenian cunt like Dara to support a terrorist organisation like the IRA, fuck you and your family, No surrender to terrorists or terrorist sympathisers like Dara.

        2 years ago
      • Martin Brock

        Now that was a song that gave the Irish a good reason to get pissed up during the summer way back when...... God thanks Dara m8 bringin bck the painful memory we cant play football but we can play Gaelic pick the ball up and smashed the fucker who's coming towards you in the face lol love it man.
        I too have taken the long journey across the sea to England and miss the panel m8 that was brilliant you must of felt a tit when you did the den m8 talkin to puppets no lol
        well enough badgerin you m8 your a legend keep up the good work :)

        2 years ago
      • Ryan

        Ha, excellent stuff and long may it continue!.


        However, as a Donegal/Derry hybrid (was at your Millenium Forum gig Dara! 3rd row where I was worried you would target me), I'm not happy with the 'Colin Murphy...who's...British' comment there from the ignorant person below. It's representative of the general ignorance regarding Irish history as embodied by many a southerner. Ridiculous stuff really. No wonder there's no united Ireland with that kind of attitude.


        Ryan

        3 years ago
      • Barry Murphy

        I said to my friend I'll send ya a gee mail!!!

        3 years ago
      • Marty Moffatt

        Hahahahahahahahaha!! I got it!

        3 years ago
      • Sharon...to you

        hehehehe bit of a cheeky one!

        3 years ago
      • karen

        ah brilliant! us Irish love it!

        4 years ago
      10 of 22More

  • Mock the Week is Back....

    With remarkable timing, BBC 2's some loved topical panel show returns this summer, just in time to miss Tony Blair's handover of power.
    From July 12th, and for twelve whole weeks, we'll be returning with the usual sniping and bunfighting and not letting each other speak and all the stuff you've been missing in the few scant months since we were last allowed on to the air.
    No word on line-ups yet, but it's unlikely the producers have gone off anyone in the last while, barring romantic misadventure, but I can report, that in a controversial move, the opening monologue has been ditched in favour of cutting to the action fast, and because it was always a chore to write when I'd sooner just be messing around during the game instead and not preparing shit all day.
    Anyway, details will follow. The point is.. We're back. soon. ish.
    5:04 PM
    • Post a comment...
      • David Johnson

        Yet another fantastic series!

        3 years ago
      • Vicky, Vicky, Vicky!

        Yes at last!!!!

        Love seeing you on QI as well!!!

        4 years ago
      • Sarah hopson

        it has been a great show so far and i hope it continues for a long time to come

        4 years ago
      • Sarah hopson

        It has been a great show so far and have enjoyed having a great laugh at hugh dennis

        4 years ago
      • Danni

        Excellent am counting down the days - cant wait.

        4 years ago
      • Ms BlackNails

        Damn. That comment went a bit shite.

        5 years ago
      • Ms BlackNails

        <P>Bunfights?</P><P>I sure have missed the bunfighting.</P><P>I'm awaiting the email from the telly audience tickets people any day now >.<</P>

        5 years ago
      • Hannah

        I do like the monologues, but I suppose if it leaves more room for assorted rantings in the middle bits it can't be all bad.  

        5 years ago
      • Oven Glove's Creek

        That is excellent news. TV will be worth watching again. The only decent thing on at the moment is Peep Show. And The Jeremy Kyle show, just for the comedy value.

        5 years ago
      • sarah

        <P>great  cant wait. its the best show on tv. I nearly wet my self laughing every week. frankie boyle is so funny never know what hes going to say next </P>

        5 years ago
      10 of 22More

  • St. Patrick’s day is over! Thanks be to Fuck!

    It's always a relief to get past March 17th. Always.
    Don't get me wrong. I like a weekend's boozing as much as the next man. (And in London we get the day itself, plus the nearest Sunday. It's a double whammy.)
    I also like an afternoon spent watching some sporting dramas unfold. (When I lived in Dublin it used to mean going to Croke Park to watch the All-Ireland Club Finals; these days, of course, it's - Jesus wept! Who saw this coming?– the emerging Irish cricket team.)
    I also also like spending time in the company of my fellow gaels making conversation dense in references and allusions our friends from around the world will never get. (That's not as impressive as it sounds – "D'ya remember tayto? I do! D'ya remember Bosco? I do ! Imagine what bosco would look like eatin' tayto! Mad!")
    I just find the whole week leading up to it more and more claustrophobic, as well-meaning punters suddenly start to address me solely in terms of the three facts they have in their head about Ireland, three facts that, as time goes by, obviously bear less and less relevance to the Ireland I'm from.
    For example, if one more fucker asks me if I'm enjoying the Cheltenham festival…
    It's not a rude question, of course, but you won't believe the reaction if you say no. Particularly if you then explain that loads of Irish people don't actually give that much of a fuck about Horse Racing. (And they don't; I've told stories onstage about horse racing to Irish crowds. Blank faces all around. Per capita, we gamble less than the English).
    I'm telling you, I have almost been assaulted for saying that lots of Irish people don't care that much about the horses. By English people, this is. Assaulted. I've had people roaring "of course you love horse racing", and no amount of patiently explaining that I grew up in a commuter belt suburban town, a long way from horses of any kind, just like they did, seems to get through to them. It's just hardwired into their brains.
    And it's a week of that.
    I suppose you'll be watcing the horse racing? Well, er, …
    I suppose you'll be knocking back the Guinness this weekend? Actually, um… I don't really like the taste of.. eh…
    That Rugby team of yours, eh? I know, they're great, but I don't really understand the game because I didn't go to one of the twelve schools that play it in Leinster and so… oh fuck, I give up…
    The English are always going about identity, and how they need one. Take it from us, everyone has an image of "irish identity" and, at times, it's flung at us like a strait-jacket.
    p.s. All of this doesn't explain how I ended up last Sunday afternoon on the stage in Trafalgar square, in front of 20,000 people, doing an Irish dance while holding a pint of Guinness.
    1:29 AM
    • Post a comment...
      • Jo

        Hi Dara ur the funniest man on the planet no matter how low i get u cheer me up love ya xx

        2 years ago
      • Stacey Jacques

        Ok, i feel your pain, i really do. BUT at least you only get that behaviour once a year now! You're no longer the dumb, beer swilling, terrorists to the English. That was along time ago and has gone! Now you're just people with funny accents. :)

        Where as, if you live in the North of England, THEN you're the dumb, beer swilling, (i don't think we've been accused of terrorism yet) people with funny accents! :) We are the inbreeds of the world, apparently! =]

        So be thankful, your day is over! ;) Lol

        Stace. X x

        4 years ago
      • eamonn campbell

        I totally agree about the connatations some English people have About irishness. On my page I wrote a particuarly grumpy blog on St Patricks day and took a lot of shite for this by English friends!

        4 years ago
      • Sally

        No it doesn't explain it but you were a damn sight better than Paul Brady!

        4 years ago
      • annie hughes

        bosco-charlie haughey! And i ken what you're saying, i aint irish, but the scots get it just the same. Im expected to be drunk/racist/eating a deep fried mars bar and doing the highland fling

        4 years ago
      • Ruairi

        PS..it'll be tomoro nite. A few of the lads are gonna be feelin a bit under the weather after drowning their sorrows from watching liverpool get beat in the european cup tonite. anyway, here's to yer morning jog...

        5 years ago
      • Ruairi

        right that's it big man. yer gettin yer fekkin knees done in the mornin..Oh & we'll be doing it the traditional way. With hurling sticks. That'll learn ye ;-)

        5 years ago
      • Ernestie_x

        ah well atleast you did something on st Paddys day, i stayed at home coz all my mates are cheap and wouldnt go to town with me :( not even for one drink (not like i should be drinking anyway, but shhh lol).

        Maybe next years will be more fun :)

        5 years ago
      • Martin Bridgeman

        Oh shure bejaysus and aren't the owl sterotypes magic entirely....bejaysus. I agree with you. I have had some very surreal moments over the years...

        Despite growing up in the suburbs of Dublin, when I went on holiday to the States in 1981, they all assumed:

        (a) I was a petrol bomb throwing, oppressed ex-colonial boy republican....bombs in my suitcase, guns in every pocket and subscribed to every Fenian principle...no comment, although when I had a beard and wore glasses, the Adams similarity was striking...
        (b) Living in idyllic fields surrounded by fairy forts and little people....I lived in Drimnagh for jaysus sake....although Tallaght was still a village and there were some decidely dodgy looking characters there.
        (b) I loved horses and went to all horse races...again,  I lived in Drimnagh and the         nearest we got was the knacker's yard in Cork Street. Or Tallaght
        (c) When I finally convinced them I lived in Dublin, that I knew all the Dublin football team personally (okay, I worked  for Paddy Cullen and I knew Kevin Moran, his mother ran the local shop, but that's not the point...
        (d) I only drank Guinness and could pull the perfect pint...I did but couldn't
        (e) I could recite at will all the stories of the Irish people going back to the Fir Bolg...in Irish...mo léan géar
        (f) I knew U2...ehhh I did know Larry when we were both 10...

        My favorite moment was in Wales, minding me own business, watching a Welsh barman destroy a pint...you know the score, glass twelve feet away from the spout, foaming like the clappers. And then was singing the praises of the latest batch of real ale they had just go in...anyway, he heard the accent when I ordered my ale, and said he was embarassed to be pouring a pint in front of an Irish person (see earlier assumption). Thankfully when he asked me if I could pour the perfect pint (not a chance, Id be worse), I had a good friend with me who was a barman. End result, a 'rake' of nice (free) pints and one of the best nights drinking I'd had in ages....with the leek eating, choir singing, inbred lot of them.

        See ya in June?

        Martin B (Venue Bar)

        5 years ago
      • Defiance

        I had to work for St. Patricks Day. KFC. I had fun talking to everyone, and innocently giving shit to anyone who wore orange! I think the only thing G.W. Bush did right was Nation Irish-American Heritage Month!

        5 years ago
      10 of 22More

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