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About me:

Professional liar, spending my days making stuff up for a variety of projects, currently putting words into the mouths of the actors on The Bill and working on a project for DC Vertigo comics. Previously I've worked on Eastenders, Grange Hill, Torchwood, Holby among others and coverd up some pretty artwork in comics such as Books of Magick, Judge Dredd, Crisis, Revolver, Sideshow and occasionally sticking my oar in on Tank Girl. I'm pretty much a composite of the following - Strong lager with a Northern head, waves crashing against ancient geology, a well formed sentence, girls with great hair, bloody steak, crispy lamb that oozes in the middle, the psycho-geography of London, provoking the laughter of friends, Colleen sleep-talking, working at the end of the bar, Daltrey screaming, the perfect bpm of Northern Soul, Scrabble, vintage pornographic playing cards, hitting a nuts-straight on the turn card, the fox in my garden, meat pie, fish and chips at the seaside, a night out with the girls, finding the perfect plot twist, cheese and biscuits, Grommit! Comedy nights at Spank - best laughs in London, Suicide Girls, Maz being in London, great dialogue, sexy boots, Ben Sherman shirts, Doc Martens shoes, peking duck, Betty Page, a cracking long joke well told, Tenby, Laetitia Di Casta, walking slowly down the beach till the tide goes far enough out to reach the next one, Kiki - queen of SG, all nighters in Rejkavik, hugging Vix - I mean really hugging Vix, hrd to let go sometimes, Woodfords Bourbon - one ice cube, Christmas, hot buttered toast, Men in Coats, Mike Jones in hysterics, triple chocolate biscuits, Bunhill Fields cemetery, crossing the Thames, Jenny onejen's eyes lighting up, the madness of William Blake,Leon's mad laugh (as long as he's not naked)and his astonishing ability to be a friend when you're in need, Egon Schiele, William Hopper, Jacques Prevert, James Wren's cheeky grin, cats staring into the fourth dimension, Fortean Times, great bars, greek meze, Audrey Tatou, Rachel Egan looking like Audrey Tatou, cheap penny arcades, a 12-1 each way crossing the line first, jelly babies and tots, Linda calling anyone a nutter, fish fingers with spaghetti hoops, Justin Edwards (AKA Jeremy Lyons), Wolf Blass Cabernet, cuban cigars, 4 AM at parties, back scratching, roast chicken skin, the awesome soul that is Mick Dow, toothpicks for their millions of uses, Dean bear-dancing and Fiona paralytic, endless mugs of tea, Colleen's bolognaise sauce, Goscar Rock, good bar staff, my giant bed, royalty cheques, good script notes, Louis bovine and earnest, Welsh butter, Stuart Maconie's Freak Zone, eating at Mem and Laz in Islington, Saturday Morning Guardian and Independent quizzes, serial killer biographies, crumpets, Lyn drunk and misty-eyed, a big box of comics, being ill with ribena, a blankie and a Beano, small intricate boxes, Edmund manic and ranting, typing 'End of Episode', emails, Paris, googling myself in moments of boredom, Vera clutching his pearls, a stranger's perfume wafting on the street in a crisp Autumn night, waking from nightmares of THAT house, Sam's fine butt, pouilly fume, gorse on the clifftops mottled with butterflies, The Plantaganet restaurant in Tenby, Gentleman Gary and the way the gentlemanliness is tenfold in conjunction with Tony, rescuing dogfish, the orangoutans of Paris, first edition hardbacks, 'Jimmy' James Hall when he's drunk enough to camp it up, chinese starters, iridescent beetles, aquaria, rare steak, Hilary on a pulling rampage, Orwell Chris bounding back and forth from the ice machine in my lovely local, Fray Bentos pastry, sancerre, CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAS, giving gifts, my stuffed monkey Max, city starlings, meadows, Meadow Soprano, port and stilton, Froggy Rachel's haircut that transformed her into (more of) a sex goddess, the smell of a new magazine, Ivor Cutler, walking round TV sets, wrapping presents neatly, Tom Meeton doing The Baron live, the unbearable bendiness of Felicity Wren (and her hair tossing), Monopoly Boards (though not playing the game), actually winning with a pair of bullets, maps, especially the underground and the A to Z, dinosaurs, Guardian wall charts, Carmen drunk and flashing her stocking tops, going in the actual Tardis, annoying people with my opinions on Morrissey, Madonna, Bowie and Richard Ashcroft, Johann Lipowitz (nice gig at the Royal Albert mate), drunken singalongs to Jesus Christ Superstar, the embodiment of all things manly that is Steve Dillon, the most excellently adorable Shelly Bond and her magnificently magnificent man-husband Philip, all things burlesque, Kalki the hula girl, meeting Ice T, my birthday, Angouleme, all my past cats - Zen, Library, Vic, Goodman and McGill, hot dog and onions (they're not cats), making up ditties,