Brett

Smoooooooth...operator

Yes, I am a genius. Well done me. How was the Bedford? Did they laugh? Did you laugh? Did anyone laugh? I laughed, which didn't help a great deal being at Fiddler on the Roof-'Do you love me?'

Germaine lent in and gently placed a hand on mark Kermodes thigh “don’t worry, Germaines here now” she whispered pensively, Paul Morley sighed, a knowing sigh why must Germaine always play mother he thought. Then with a thunderous infusion of passion Lawson clasped hold of Kirsty Warks breast and as she let out a primal scream her portly buttocks were thrust with force against Tim Marlows chest. A bead of sweat secreted from his brown love tears tumbling down and caught upon the matted crown of Natasha Walter. The evening had only just begun for The Newsnight review team.

I walked into the kitchen this morning and there was a yellow post-it note on the fridge. It was from Susan. It read "I am leaving you. I'm eloping with Brett. He's got lustrous hair, nice emotions and is afraid of me. You must never contact me again. I. Hate. You. So. Much. Right. Now." Just thought you'd like to know. See the football last night? Phwoooar.

Safe.....safe as f*ck..safe as f*ck..safe as f*ck and repeat until it is time for me to get the night bus home so I can be touched up by a big greek man.

Hey up!

I might come to your gig tomorrow night and laugh in all the wrong places

Ah you're a cunt...no no I'm only kidding - do you wanna dance? If only that line had been in there!! ha ha

Cheers Mr Brett - bit of a stormer last night. You're not technically allowed to be that good after just 30 gigs. Look forward to seeing you on that there circuit...

I saw an advert for space hopper shoes today and i remembered that you had those and they were fun! x