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Matt's Blog

  • The Hangman

    Well its been a while, got a few interesting stories. But I will save those for another time. For now I will leave with this I found, and kinda like :D In a sick morbid kinda way -shrugs-

    The Hangman

    Into our town the hangman came,
    smelling of gold and blood and flame.
    He paced our bricks with a different air,
    and built his frame on the courthouse square.

    The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
    only as wide as the door was wide
    with a frame as tall, or a little more,
    than the capping sill of the courthouse door.

    And we wondered whenever we had the time,
    Who the criminal? What the crime?
    The hangman judged with the yellow twist
    of knotted hemp in his busy fist.

    And innocent though we were with dread,
    we passed those eyes of buckshot lead.
    Till one cried, "Hangman, who is he,
    for whom you raised the gallows-tree?"

    Then a twinkle grew in his buckshot eye
    and he gave a riddle instead of reply.
    "He who serves me best," said he
    "Shall earn the rope on the gallows-tree."

    And he stepped down and laid his hand
    on a man who came from another land.
    And we breathed again, for anothers grief
    at the hangmans hand, was our relief.

    And the gallows frame on the courthouse lawn
    by tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
    So we gave him way and no one spoke
    out of respect for his hangmans cloak.

    The next day's sun looked mildly down
    on roof and street in our quiet town;
    and stark and black in the morning air
    the gallows-tree on the courthouse square.

    And the hangman stood at his usual stand
    with the yellow hemp in his busy hand.
    With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike,
    and his air so knowing and business-like.

    And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done,
    yesterday with the alien one?"
    Then we fell silent and stood amazed.
    "Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."

    He laughed a laugh as he looked at us,
    "Do you think I've gone to all this fuss,
    To hang one man? That's the thing I do.
    To stretch the rope when the rope is new."


    Above our silence a voice cried "Shame!"
    and into our midst the hangman came;
    to that mans place, "Do you hold," said he,
    "With him that was meat for the gallows-tree?"

    He laid his hand on that one's arm
    and we shrank back in quick alarm.
    We gave him way, and no one spoke,
    out of fear of the hangmans cloak.

    That night we saw with dread surprise
    the hangmans scaffold had grown in size.
    Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
    the gallows-tree had taken root.

    Now as wide, or a little more
    than the steps that led to the courthouse door.
    As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
    half way up on the courthouse wall.

    The third he took, we had all heard tell,
    was a usurer..., an infidel.
    And "What" said the hangman, "Have you to do
    with the gallows-bound..., and he a Jew?"

    And we cried out, "Is this one he
    who has served you well and faithfully?"
    The hangman smiled, "It's a clever scheme
    to try the strength of the gallows beam."

    The fourth man's dark accusing song
    had scratched our comfort hard and long.
    "And what concern," he gave us back,
    "Have you ... for the doomed and black?"

    The fifth, the sixth, and we cried again,
    "Hangman, hangman, is this the man?"
    "It's a trick", said he, "that we hangman know
    for easing the trap when the trap springs slow."

    And so we ceased and asked now more
    as the hangman tallied his bloody score.
    And sun by sun, and night by night
    the gallows grew to monstrous height.

    The wings of the scaffold opened wide
    until they covered the square from side to side.
    And the monster cross beam looking down,
    cast its shadow across the town.

    Then through the town the hangman came
    and called through the empty streets...my name.
    I looked at the gallows soaring tall
    and thought ... there's no one left at all

    for hanging ... and so he called to me
    to help take down the gallows-tree.
    And I went out with right good hope
    to the hangmans tree and the hangmans rope.

    He smiled at me as I came down
    to the courthouse square...through the silent town.
    Supple and stretched in his busy hand,
    was the yellow twist of hempen strand.

    He whistled his tune as he tried the trap
    and it sprang down with a ready snap.
    Then with a smile of awful command,
    He laid his hand upon my hand.

    "You tricked me Hangman." I shouted then,
    "That your scaffold was built for other men,
    and I'm no henchman of yours." I cried.
    "You lied to me Hangman, foully lied."

    Then a twinkle grew in his buckshot eye,
    "Lied to you...tricked you?" He said "Not I...
    for I answered straight and told you true.
    The scaffold was raised for none but you."

    "For who has served more faithfully?
    With your coward's hope." said He,
    "And where are the others that might have stood
    side by your side, in the common good?"

    "Dead!" I answered, and amiably
    "Murdered," the Hangman corrected me.
    "First the alien ... then the Jew.
    I did no more than you let me do."

    Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
    none before stood so alone as I.
    The Hangman then strapped me...with no voice there
    to cry "Stay!" ... for me in the empty square.

    "... I did no more than you let me do"

    The moral being, just dont stand back ^.^ posted on my page also, thats how much i like it XP 

  • Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

    Disclaimer: I do not condone nor condem the use of Absinthe. I am currently in a country which laws do not ban the substance and makes it perfectly legal to drink (Since the drinking age is also 18) However, i advise that before trying to purchase or seek such substance. To check with your state/country laws before doing so. And I will not be held responsible in anyway for the actions of the individual, as it is of there own free will. And by reading on from this you have agreed to this statement and cannot condem the writer. (If you dont agree, click back now :D. I ain't gonna be blamed for SHIT!!)

    Yeah, so for the past month. I must have heard the word Absinthe, 20-30 prehaps even 40 times. It was starting to piss me off. So i got on my bike and headed into the local town.

    I have been having certain... problems. With my bank resently, so i had to stop off there to get money -grumbles- But i went and had a subway. And looked into Game for a PS3 whislt i was knocking around.

    Anyway, hopped off to morrisons. Wall to fucking wall of wines and spirits of all kinds. No Absinthe.

    Went to 3 off licences after that in the same town. Lots of beer, and spirits. No Absinthe. Finally went to Tescos. 3 rows of alcahol. Finally htere, right in the back. Tucked away in a corner. La Fee's Absinthe (if its Absinth its usually cheaper and has less taste apparlently. The E also means its usually brewed in france O_o)

    Yeah 20 pound sterling for a small bottle. However it has the same consistancy as whiskey.

    So i went through the Absinthe process. Of placing a small amount in the glass. A fork over it, with 2 suger cubes ontop. Then poured cold water over the cubes, until they disintigrated. After mixing and drinking.

    The shit hits you like a hammer. And has a strange taste to discribe it the least.

    Anyway after 6 glasses i went to sleep. Woke up after some... interesting dreams. Dunno if it was the Absinthe but i will be experimenting tonight :D

    And probably fill in some of the finer details later. Pictures will be posted soon. Just gotta hurry at the moment ^.^

    PEACE!! and chicken grease

  • The funny, the bad... and the bike

    Current mood:tired

    So before I turn in after work. I figure, its been about a week since I posted a blog. About anything, so might as well have one funny, and one bad...

    Funny:

    During the holiday, on my first day spent there. I jumped into the shower and slipped out. Will and Amie where sitting on opposite couches, in the living room part of the open plan area, with a little hallyway blocking off the bathroom so basicly will had his back to the wall around a corner.

    Amie starts grinning at me when I leave the bathroom and I hear Will going "What are you grinning at?!?...Wait... is he naked?"

    An instant plan hit me, so I undid my belt, wandered to the corner, and leaned around ass first mooning Will. I later found out, that he was leaning around the corner at the same time to tell me to put some clothes on. And almost went face to ass.

    The Bad:

    Well, depends on how you see this. But I almost died on monday going back to work O_O... I was riding my bike down the wet road, made a sharp turn, and lost control, skiding and falling into the middle of the road. I rolled but slightly late, smashing my knee into the concrete and trapping it under the bike slightly. However in rolling I made sure I didnt brake my arm ^.^. After landing, I swivled and rolled around checking the road behind me. Only to see a fucking car speeding down after me... Bastards, so I grabbed my bike with my legs and rolled into a ditch -.-.

    Basicly, fucking impact damage and a ;arge graze covering most of my knee... Yay.. and my wrist hurts. Meh.

    Alright I'm fucking off. PEACE!!!!

  • Tombstone...

    Current mood:pensive

    I said I would write about some of the funnier points ni my holiday so here we go. The trip to Tombstone.

    Started out by having to wake up Will, repeatedly. Thankfully he didnt flail everywhere otherwise i would have had to find a sharp stick.

    The first hour or so everyone was asleep. Aside from Amie, driving (Obviously, otherwise might be spooking that im typing this O_o) Stopping to get gas we grabbed a few energy drinks and where hyped up for the rest of the journey.

    Stopping off at BK for breakfast, pulling up into the drive in. Taking orders from everyone is a nightmare, think, 4 people all wanting different things, with different shit, and half the time cant make there minds up XD. When we are finally ready to order, one of the funnist parts is what Amie did next: "We are ready to order now...i would like a"  "Ok cna i take your order?" "HELLO!!!" (Inserting strange mix of american/english accent there) Will and myself almost died laughing, and the rest of the order was filled with him and myself screaming in the background and coping the Hello. When we finally pulled up to the window, it was the same thing, with an added.. loud BUTTSEX!!! from myself  >.> We had to pretend to likc the windows and drool after that... just to give Amie some credit back that she was driving with retards. -cough-

    The rest of the car journey was filled with the ultimate farting challenge gasing out the car, the air changed slowly and we could tell when we got back in later that day. (Wasnt just me and will, deb joined in and almost killed us XD) Finally it was finished with a small chorus of "are we there yet?"

    Finding a parting space even at 9 o'clock in the morning is a BITCH. Esspically with the most careful driver in the world -.-

    Anyway, parking up we where the propositioned by an old man with a beard within 3 seconds of entering.. Unfortuntally not for sex. Something about reopening the mines and I wasnt paying attention because it was fucking hot. Making our way to the historama we waited 20 minutes to get in, and i wanted to slit my wrists about 5 minutes into watching it (its a half hour long) Because its "The town too tuff to die"...Meh.

    Grabbing a coffee for Amie, and doing my disapearing trick, i summoned smoe smokes for will. We headed down to a comedy gun show. Which in my opinion was the best part of the entire trip. We may have been sitting outside BUT we where in the shade so it wasnt too bad. Plus we all had drinks.

    Trapesing up and down the roads we headed off to the Corral, to take a look around, and a photo studio that was stationed in the walled area. Again not really paying attention just wishing they had AC in any of the history buildings. My thoughts about it are. "You MAY learn, but dont dawdle, least you wanna die of the heat"

    So finally getting hungry we headed off to 'Big nose Kates saloon' To eat. Supidly ordering a full rakc of Ribs to share with Amie (The lightest eater in the world) and death by chocolate, afterwards i wanted to die. Not before i looked around the restaraunt seeing a woman walking past me and said in a normal voice (Proving my no impluse control..) "Man... shes fat..." seconds later another woman dared to walk past... already will had gone bright red and everyone else was trying to hide themselves under the table "HOLY SHIT!!! SHes fat... AND UGLY!!... Will look look look -pointing- Shes been beaten with an ugly stick!"

    So after getting a doggy bag and cleaning up the ribs (As long as my fucking arm -.-) We headed to the OK Corral gun show... Enter the Sardine tin mode... We all sat there on a bench, about 250 people, just packing us in shoulder to shoulder in an open area about 110F... Not fun... lots of sweating. And it took longer to seat everyone than for the actual show. Which was about 20 minutes in all.

    Finally getting our papers of the gunfight, and learning more history we headed for tuscan, with more farting the entire time and grumbling about too much food.

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