Alex Zane's Blog
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Mermaid Porn
Hi again
The award winning brand spanking new, with new art work involving hats, trees and the colour purple, Podcast I do has just gone up online at:
xfm. co. uk/breakfast AND HIT SUBSCRIBE
Plus if you subscibe now and get some free rudeness.
Actually it is a pretty weird and slightly unacceptable one this week, but if you want to know about Mermaid porn, bakerys and have to behave in an outrageous way to get someones attention I can't recommend it enough.
Probably best to be over 18, it does have an explicit sticker, as all mermaid porn should. Sorry, I keep talking about this mermaid porn like you're going to see it but you can't, you can hear me and my friend pete talking about it. Not that you'd want to see it, I mean I didn't want to see it, a friend of mine who as legend has it might have had a relationship with a cat showed me it. I guess you get on well with animals like that, it's going to be mermaid porn you get into.....
Hmmmm.... well if all this sounds appealing you know where to go xfm. co. uk/breakfast
Just make sure you subscribe.
If you found any of the above morally questionable DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST... it gets worse.... I think there's a mention to 'that scene' in 'Seven'........ "oh god"
Alex -
In t t t t t t training
Sooooo.... decided to do a 24 hour breakfast show on Xfm. Yeah, didn't really consider the concept fully before climbing on board this marathon train (wreck?) of radio but I think it'll be ok. Got a great team behind me, well, got a team behind me. Bob Diggles (real name) is producing the behemoth, he's like my radio dad in that he is a dad, not mine, but a dad nonetheless, I'd trust him with my life just as long as the situation we were in wasn't actually life threatening. Also got Pete, Mark and Sunta.
So, thats the team behind the award winning (TBC) breakfast show but none of us are arrogant enough to assume we could do a 24 hour show without help, (actually I probably am but the rest aren't), thats why we've got 24 hours of gigs going on throughout the day. Phew. Paul Weller is doing one, woop. Primal Scream, woop woop. Mystery Jets, woopity woop and loads of others. Phew.
So, in physical training for that at the moment.
"What can you bench?"
"Do you want to spot me?"
Are both phrases I plan on learning the meaning of very soon. Then I'll start training.
If you do fancy seeing the full line up for the show and winning tickets to go to the gigs its all at xfm.co.uk
If you do decide to visit that site, do me a massive favour, I know I go on about it but our Xfm Breakfast Show Podcast is a labour of love and you can find it at xfm.co.uk/breakfast
Even if you don't listen to it, do subscribe to it, its always nice to know its there, like a smoke alarm.
Off to the gym........bar to have a sparkling mineral water. always hydrate before thinking about maybe doing some excercise.
Alex
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Goooooooooaaaaalllll Indy
I'm watching this football match thats on TV where reds vs blues. I don't know a lot about football but I thought it might make me feel more masculine, I also put a vest top on to aid this feeling. Neither has worked, I look like someone has draped a flag over a shovel handle and I'm cold and my fingers itch and if I wasn't already at home I'd want to go home and I'm going to have re-pot my cactus, Leonard, because he's leaning dangerously to the right.
Good news though, Indiana Jones atkotcs is not as bad as some people have been saying, it takes a little while to get used to Indy being old, the first time he took a punch I got a little angry at the russian soldier "Oi! leave him be, he's not as young as he used to be!" The ending pants unfortunately, I mean proper pants, but the middle is fantastic and Shia Le Beef Beeeeeeeeeeefff is great, surprising as he was the part I was worried about. Worried like a man who owns a leaning cactus. Its raining.
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bed.
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Swans, radio and car salerooms
Just sent out my first bullettin, I've not done that before, don't feel any different to how I felt when I hadn't sent a bulletin out but maybe its a slow change, perhaps I'll wake tomorrow and be a beautiful swan, a beautiful swan with a bed full of crisps.
So in case you don't know, ther wonderous new Myspace radio site became self aware today and immediately started informing everyone of how they can be involved in this weekly one hour radio show I'm hosting. I need co presenters and bands, all the details are on the Myspace Radio page of how you can be part of what I think will be a great show. Its your show, you can decide how it works, what you want more of, which bands from myspace you'd like to hear on it and who my co -hosts should be. Mid June see's the start of something beautiful.
In other news been investigating the weirder side of collections recently, hello to Pete whose mum disallowed him to collect football stickers so he collected the non sticky backs of football stickers and glued them into an album. Truly a heartbreaking story.
I collect copies of White Dwarf Magazine and the Fortean Times. I used to have an awesome collection of Garbage Pail Kid stickers but they've been lost to the sands of time.
My friend Mark started collecting Coke cans from around the world when he was 12 in an attempt to kiss Jane Fielder who also collected them, he reckons he did eventually kiss her outside a car saleroom in Harrow, she still denies this happened.
Alex
Imagine you are walking in a crowded place.
You hear "You're insane!" whispered in your ear.
It could have been any of the people around you.
Now they all think you're insane because you asked them all if they said you were insane.
This is my new, ingenious, way-to-make-the-world-insane idea.
Spread the word.
(I told you because you make words in various media forms.)
(I could have just advertised my band instead)
(That would have been a more worthwhile consumer of my time)
(Oh well, it's done now)
You're insane
THE BEADED CURTAINS FOREVER
cough.
If you go on our Myspace after January there will be recordings that you must play on the radio
Or you could just casually mention us, how good we are etc
Oh look, I've done two good things in one comment.
Oh, the cleverness of me.
XoXo
Moonlight Xixi, Queen of the Pixies.
I still don't know what Kudos is/are.
But here's two, because I like you.
But only if you obey me.
Think you need to hotfoot it to the mermaid porn addiction clinic pronto. I'm not an expert on rehab myself but surely they do it at the priory?
mermaid porn! quite frankly i am stunned of camden!
i will never be able to look at my mermaid coffee table in the same way. not to mention the fact that my mind is blown trying to fathom how that would work...
i just hope that its hot mermaid on mermaid action and does not involve cross species perversion...
..then again, being a lover of all things mermaid, i wouldn't say no to being a mermaid fluffer.. or would that be 'wetter'... oh this is all VERY wrong!
Why My Ipod is pants........ it's preventing me from listening to the good stuff!!
Reason 1 - I can't listen to it via headphones - so it staies on it's docking station thingy!
Reason 2 - It's now refusing to update any new songs, podcasts or any audio!
Reason 3 - I can't be bothered to get a new one, but thanks to the wonders to home networking i just listen to the Podcast on my laptop
end result - I need a new ipod
(donations greatly acceped =]......please.......)
and as for mermaid porn.................... LOL